When one window closes, a door opens; yet when you are blindly trying to reopen the window you often miss the door.
When you scream in the darkness, what do you expect to respond to you? The darkness; or the creature of the dark?
When this relationship ended, was it the official ending or just the official beginning?
What does darkness taste like?
What does desire taste like?
I’m guessing it’d be something like blood, only more bitter. I’m also guessing it'd be something like the way I image your lips to taste, sweet and deadly. An instant addiction, only I’d crave it far more.
Would you regret it if you didn’t taste it at least once?
I would and that’s how I got here.

I’ve put a face to the creature in the darkness; I’ve given him a name. He stands taller than me, but only enough to where I know I can nuzzle comfortably into his chest, I know this because it’s the only place I feel safe anymore. Now he has me wrapped around his finger, and I refuse to fight it. Why would I fight something that feels so good?
It is my fault in the first place; I was the one who took his threat as a joke. I was the one who despised men from the beginning, the one who swore no one man would ever be able to hold me down. Then he taunted me, after I found him in the one place I knew I should never be.
“Have you ever tasted the darkness?”
His voice was the first thing to hook me, and I ignored it blindly; pushed it from my mind and hissed silently back at the man in front of me. The good looking older man who stared blankly at me without a hint of emotion in his cold eyes, yet all the while I knew he was smiling right back at me.
“I didn’t know you could.”

I didn’t realize it then, but my voice caught him just as quickly as his caught me. We were both wrapped around each other’s words, our lips commanding the other’s world without hesitation. My greenish blue eyes sparked life in him he hadn’t felt in ages, and he feared it far more than I would ever fear the darkness.
I also didn’t realize just how far from the creature of the darkness he actual was. He was simply forbidden to me, and I to him; and this made him the darkness of my dreams, the creature I would break laws for, the creature who would bend reality for me if it so seemed right. Everyone saw it but us; everyone saw it but us until they gave it a name one day on my last day of school.
The Darkness, it was perfect because in all reality the dark wasn’t evil and only the things in it were truly scary, but those things could be nothing more than butterflies that you fear for no reason. You fear the darkness because you are too scared to flip on a light. Therefore all things in life you are too scared to get close to, to desire, because the creatures in the darkness; and he was the greatest creature in the dark in my life. The one thing I truly desired, and the one thing I truly refused to get close to. He was my creature in the dark, he was my Darkness.
He also knew we called him this, he wasn’t ignorant of the way I watched him the few times I did see him. I wasn’t ignorant of the way other people swore he watched me, I was simply ignorant of the fact.

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Once again another random post, I think there was something deeper than just me being bored in this one but I'm not sure. I have the file titled as 'Thoughts of the Day' and the date was 11-13-2008... which was right after I found out Preston cheated on me (I think this was the second time... might have been the third, I lost count) but I think it was after I was furious and right when I started feeling loved once again by him (he sweet talked me, of course).

Re-reading it I don't think it was about Preston, but I can't imagine who else it'd be about; maybe it was about him. I think it's about the fact that I desired his love no matter how fake it was, I just wanted that feeling of being wanted by something no matter how horrid it really was. I still have that problem on some days, specially when he finds a way to dig his voice into my head once again.
Oh well.